Most find it difficult to understand the way I feel. They become angry, both at themselves for not comprehending the feeling and at me for being so far from reach. The main thing I am trying to understand is that not everyone views life the same way that I do. This is obvious, even to myself, but a part still lingers within me that wishes everyone dreamt the same dreams I do, and felt the same things I feel. There is nothing that will ever cause people to see the way the world appears through my eyes, nothing at all can allow complete understanding. I can stand in front of so many people and yet I feel alone in my emotions and my attitudes. When I speak of things that I feel must be spoken of I find that people withdraw from me. And there is nothing wrong with that, it is human to not want to think the worst of any situation. I can understand completely why there is a withdrawal, it’s because there is such a difference in emotions between myself and the person listening. This can’t be helped, so no one should feel that their inability to offer help is any less important. All help is important, all compassion is enough to change a mind. But there is a logical understanding that comes into play when the person offering the help feels detached from the soul in front of them. This is because that lonely soul is detached from himself, you won’t find him in there. He’s lost to himself and, in the end, it will be his choice and his own compassion that influences the outcome. You can’t possibly relate to the indescribable feeling this person is suffering from, you simply can’t, unless you too are, or have been, at a similar place. The phrases “I know how you feel”, or, “I’ve been there“, are pointless and harmful comments. To you they sound comforting, they are letting the other person know that they are not alone, especially in the way they feel. Considering that everyone is different it may work for some, but I assure that those same phrases can cause a person to feel more alienated and joyless than ever. They offer no help, they simply indicate to the person hearing them that you know not what to say. The common person, far from the edges of true unhappiness, cannot relate and, therefore, can at times hurt the person even more than they could if they were to ignore them completely. It is a sensitive issue, I know, that is extremely difficult to understand. All that needs to be said is: do not become angry or irritated at the person, or yourself, for you not being able to say the right things. I’m not sure that there are any right words, the proof is in actions.
Another problem that I’ve had is hiding my feelings behind metaphors. This, as I have learned, is possibly the worst way to get your message across. Not everyone thinks that way, the same as not everyone sharing the same view of the world. I have come to understand that writing about your issues can be very therapeutic for yourself, but it is dangerous to rely solely on those words to relay messages to people. With my writing I can let someone read a story or a poem that explains everything that I think and feel but if they are not the kind of person who looks that deep into things then I have tried, in vain, to explain myself. I’ve come to the conclusion that, although they may be common and would never be a way that you would normally voice yourself, simple words work much better than deep, philosophical writing. Not everyone can latch onto metaphors and explanations the way you do, not everyone dissects poetry and finds the meaning of life, not everyone shares the same meaningful company of words that are everything to you; these things are useless when it comes to everyone else, they cannot see how your mind works, and thus, cannot understand even slightly how you are feeling. I’m not saying that everyone in the world is simple minded, I am saying that it is better to use the common language, the common tongue, to help others understand why you feel the way you do.
I only know these things because of the person that I am, and it seems that not every use of words need be broad and colorful and deep. It is no doubt difficult for me to transform the way I explain myself into a more easily understood approach, but I think that it is quite worth the effort, as long as others are still willing to listen.
So be patient when there is no hope for patience, some people cling to life even when they find no reasons to do so; I would gladly trade the latter of the two for the first.
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“’Things have changed since he came to this place. He came here with strange dreams, and things began to change. He hid himself here and practiced his dreams.”
