Notes on how I am feeling at the present moment:
I am hopeful, but that hope is a selfish hope. I can see how life is shaping me and how I am allowing it to shape me. Just being aware of its influence over me is a revelatory moment for me. I want to be alone, [...]
Archive for July, 2008
Shot down in flames.
Posted in Journal, tagged All is eventual, life, Mindfulness, People who swallow the light from the sun, Realization, Reflection, Solitude on July 31, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Random thoughts of neat disorder
Posted in Poetry, tagged Anhedonia on July 30, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Fingers touch keys amounting to fleeting speech. An inability to register or deny. Thought found wanting, found need to stop. Painting pictures at dusk with brushes turned black. Smudges, failing scenes, timeless sleep, empty dreams. Restless sweat, hollow rest, parting words upon faceless breath. Chapters fade and pages turn, a man is formed through broken [...]
The good don’t last too long.
Posted in Journal, tagged A self-help book with a cheesy title, Bibliotherapy, Books, Counselor, Creativity, Depression, Feeling Good, Fruity hair, Homework, Mental Illness, Music, Pondering, Reading, Relaxation, School, Shower, Spock's Beard, Strange World, Terrible Handwriting, Thinking, Walk, Writing on July 29, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Just stepped out of the shower, still with towel actually. I woke up in a blistering sweat due to no air conditioning in the house; even the fan, which I spoke of last night, does no good. I’ve been doing this strange thing lately, not even sure why I’m telling you but, why not? Instead [...]
Will you tell me when it’s gone, will you tell me when it’s over?
Posted in Journal, tagged Counselor, Homework Assignment, Hope, Jessie, My body temperature during different times of day, My cold/warm room, Numb on July 28, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Still numb, still detached, still so far away. My earlier entry was me wanting to write something but being unable to do so. Considering I am able to communicate right now I suppose that is, somehow, a good sign; not certain how though.
Jessie was just over and she insisted that I turn the fan off, [...]
Such dissimulated sadness…
Posted in Journal on July 28, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Numb. Everything seems distant somehow, everything seems detatched. Or maybe I’m the one detatched, the thing that’s so far away.
The sweet, downhill sadness of our slow decay.
Posted in Journal, Poetry, tagged Poetry on July 27, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Walking past houses, glancing through windows. Electric screens illuminate through blinds, projecting imaginary people onto glass pictures. The rooms are always dark, always holding solitary figures within their walls. The figures greet the faces on the screens with smiles. They meet the gazes of pixelated simulations of men and women. They speak to them through [...]
I Walk Beside You
Posted in Journal on July 25, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I was just sent this message. It is from the sweetest, most beautiful girl I’ve ever known.
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“I know I always tell you this but I don’t think you can say it too much, I care about you. I love seeing you happy and if I can do anything to make that happen then I will. [...]
Please hang up…
Posted in Uncategorized on July 25, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
If you are feeling upset, sad, angry, confused, hurt, betrayed, helpless, hopeless, tearful, or unimportant because you never receive a call from me or because I never talk to you I want you to understand that there is a reason.
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Social Anxiety
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A woman hates to stand in line in the grocery store because she’s afraid [...]
If our days have ended, let us fade.
Posted in Article, Journal, tagged Answers, Christianity, Church, Death, Devil, God, Guillermo del Toro, Heath Ledger, Hellboy, life, Nevermore, Pessimistic thought of the day, Pointless Existence, Religion, The Dark Knight on July 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
There is a website that I absolutely LOVE to frequent because I am always guaranteed a good, hearty laugh: Christian Answers.net
This is a website that, among other godly things, has a section where they review movies. They rate how offensive the movies are and whether a Christian should see it or not. Take, for instance, [...]
